Yesterday I was at the veranda w/ my bff (bi-epep). While we were staring outside, suddenly my superfriend came singing a love song. I teased her and said that she’s only singing the song because her boyfriend sang it. She blushed and I was shocked to see her like that. We both were. After a few teasing, she walked away to help at cutting the vegetables.
My bff and I were very shocked to see that side of her. We soon had theories that maybe she only looks like a snobbish person because she has walls.
Walls that prevents her from opening up to other people because of her experiences and reputation.
We think that maybe she acts like that sometimes because she doesn’t want people to see through her. To see her weak/vulnerable side.
I’ve been her superfriend for almost 3 yrs now and only now that I understand her more. I felt stupid and guilty. I always thought that she was just not showy and pretty unexpressive cause I’ve seen her vulnerable side before, full of crying and pain. But I never fully understood until yesterday.
So my bff and I felt very guilty and promised each other that we will say sorry to her the next day cause she’s had some issues with her before which she thinks that even though it had been resolved, there’s still a wall between.
So the next day or today, we were both so nervous and dragged her to a more private place. We both said sorry to her and confessed that we sometimes misjudged her behaviors.
She said that she now thought different of me and I wish that it’s a good thing. Then a bit later she was more open to me and we’re closer now.
I felt relieved understanding more things. I wish our friendships would grow stronger by the day.
I really love that girl, she’s one of the best-est friend I could have. ^^
I’ve been very confused if my friend really cares about me or just wants me to be beside her in case of assistance.
It’s been nerve-wrecking for me and I daydreamed a lot. I think about it every time. I wanted to ask her but don’t want to offend her so I just try to remember the times we were much more close. The times before we fought and suddenly stopped talking and caring about each other. I wanna remember everything we were before misunderstandings happened.
Soon enough we did get through and I ended up saying sorry to her and her saying sorry to me. I was happy and I wanted our closeness back. I tried hard and she kinda confessed to me that she felt awkward. After a few weeks, we found our way back, back as bestfriends or superfriends as she says it, and that’s the time my parents decided to transfer me to another school.
It was the first time I saw her crying. She was crying in front of me, confessing that she needs me and wants me beside her till the end of our high school years. We were on our 4th yr and it’s our last too.
A few days later, my father decided NOT to change schools anymore and she welcomed me with a big, warm hug.
That was like, 2 or 3 months ago. We always wrestle cause that’s how we express our bond. As bestfriends/superfriends, we’ve been or she’s been unexpressive at some times. And I understood that, but sometimes I still wonder if she really does care about me. 😕
I think I’ve been hard on her when I ignore her at times that I felt unfair. And I’m sorry for that. Now, every time I doubt some of her, I think of the time she cried for me. And now I want to say that I think she cares for me but she doesn’t know how to express it.
So starting now I’ll be trying hard to understand her more and make our friendship deeper and stronger. ;)
A few days ago I was watching a movie at Star Movies. It was entitled “The Host”. I’ve heard of the title and the reviews that it is a good movie, so I watched it.
Watching so observingly that I almost forgot that once I focus into something/someone, I get attached to it somehow. I have the fangirl blood in me.
So soon enough I started to love Saoirse Ronan. SHE IS AN AMAZING YOUNG ACTRESS.
I watched almost every show/movie she’s been in. I really am very familliar with fangirling business which made it easier to know her more. Soon enough she’s in my mind almost every hour of the day.
But lemme tell you. SHE IS ONE AMAZING LADY. She’s funny, beautiful, talented and human. XDOh and by the way, I ship her with Max Irons. ;)
I have a confession to make.
I’ve been tricked, yet again, by a guy.
My crush pretended to have a crush on me because his peers kinda pushed him to.
It was Friday and for a one whole week, he pretended that he too had interest in me. The next Friday came and my friend cried infront of me and started confessing that she is at the MU stage with my crush.
I was flaberghasted. I dunno what to do or say or react. Soon enough I forgave her and the guys. After only a few hours of the same day.
Now I don’t believe easily anymore and I hated the fact that the experience kinda changed me.
I don’t want to change but it’s been hard on me. People say that I’m so stupid cause I forgave them easily. Some felt pity for me.
My friends say that I shouldn’t forgive people that easily without even letting them feel first that they did something wrong. I didn’t really care that much about them being together anyways.
IT WAS JUST A SIMPLE CRUSH. But of course it left a scar cause I was played, for the 2nd time.
I guess life just really want me to change, even just a bit. And I think I’ll take that challenge. To be a better person and to have a better life. ;)